How to survive social media envy

Plankton from Nickelodeon's "Spongebob Squarepants"

Jealousy arising from someone's achievements, privileges or state of happiness has destroyed relationships. It may be conceited to say this, but I have let go a number of friends because, let's face it, no one has really admitted to feeling envious of a friend so he or she can work things out as a mature adult. 

But there are the red flags - when a friend is being silent about your victories and you are getting words of validation from strangers instead; or when you discover they are saying bad things behind your back, dismissing your hard work. It’s true. Some people want you to do well, but not better than them.

It is normal to be triggered by envy, to feel a bit upset that you do not measure up to another person. This is magnified in social media where everything is curated with positive things happening in our lives. But what makes envy a problem is how one reacts to it.

When you find yourself looking for excuses how one hacked his way to getting what he wanted, it's your insecurities talking. When you are disturbingly quiet or unsupportive to a close friend, you are passively hurting them for winning. Simply put, if you are not happy for a friend's happiness, you are admitting to self-defeat. 

It is going to show. Your friend, sibling or significant other would eventually feel it and it can strain your relationships.  The subject of envy values support most from the people closest to him and it is going to hurt big-time to find out you are not as ecstatic for him.

So what can you do the next time you scroll your feed and feel sad someone already got a TV deal for his comicbook or renovated his room? Instead of being insecure, be inspired. Ponder how he was able to do it. Be encouraged that if your friend or partner was able to reach his goal, you can likewise do it. Go back to your vision board and to-do list, and resume proactively taking steps to improve your life.

Turn your envy into a motivation. It has to be a conscious decision to turn off thoughts to punish a friend or loved one for being happy.