When “Geek Guys” means “Hot”

Geeky couple Fred and Daphne. Photo by Joel Aragones
Blame a lazy Sunday. I asked fellow enthusiasts if they think comics geeks are hot and irresistible. I admit I was just bored. But come to think of it, does being a geek an attractive factor in the pursuit of love?

L had a quick response, “Nope. At least not to the average woman. I'm speaking from experience, actually. LOL.”

“Perhaps if you read Twilight?” said R.

“Or that 50 Shades of Grey that everyone seems to be into lately,” said L, who I could imagine nodding in front of the computer.

Then Shiela, the active female member of the group commented. “I think the question is tricky, because hot/irresistible/whatever is subjective.  Asking about "comic geeks" in general are about the same as asking "are people from x school hot," or "are girls who wear t-shirts hot?" Inconclusive.”

Ok then, Shiela, got me. So let’s rephrase the question—how can a geek be attractive as Magneto? How can one not repel someone you like? Or as Bob joked, “What’s not to like, 190 pounds of sex appeal coming at you, swoosh!!!”

1. Big guys need to do this shirt trick.

If you do not have the time and money but have a surplus of excuses of not going to the gym, you should at least wear a shirt that makes you look slim. Here’s the tip I got from Pinoy Guy Guide—the tendency of chubby men is to either wear slim fit versions of their shirt size, which actually makes them look unappealing, with the man-boobs and all, or they wear loose shirts which make them look like 90s hiphop artists. 

“If you happen to be a chubby guy, go for clothes which are one size bigger than your actual size BUT choose a slim fit version.
Let’s say you go shopping for a shirt. You know that you are a size XL. So what you need to do is to find nice clothes on size XXL which are SLIM FIT. Once again read: SLIM FIT! So what will happen is that you will end up buying clothes which are just about right for your size and since it is slim fit, it will make you look slimmer.” (Pinoy Guy Guide

2. The Subtle Geek

Still on the topic of shirts—men do not need to wear shirts with superhero insignia every time. Without compromising your individuality, you can go with the superhero off-duty look. Look at the trademark civvies of your favorite character then open your cabinet to use what you have. Or if you need to update your wardrobe, you can buy button down shirts, plaid shirts and sports shirts from zalora.com.ph

If you can pull off a Tony Stark look, you can go to Bench Fix for the Balbo beard for P100 or you can do it yourself. While we’re at grooming, trim your nosehair, dude. Cut it, don’t pull it.

3. Only activate the “geek mode” when you need it.

Because you want someone to like you back, you do not need to put too much focus on your hobbies, especially that there are other aspects of your life that likewise interesting. 

E has this advice.

“Not all geeks are hot (just being honest, no offense). Some are just weird enough to make people stay away from them, even a geek like me stays away from them. The hot geeks are those who can activate the "geek mode" anytime they need it. 

For example, if a girl talks to you, don’t let yourself talk too much about comics (or other geeky stuff), do the simple talk, sensible or humorous, then when she asks something geeky (like why Spider-man is Spider-man? Is the sun really that hot? Who's darth maul?), that's the time you activate geek mode, then turn it off again for normal conversation's sake. It's just a matter of how you direct the conversation into normal to geeky, then poof, you are like a hotcake to the gals."

M, meanwhile, said that being a geek “does add major points in making a person more interesting, especially if the person is more than just the hobby.”

“As a comic collector who dabbles a bit in toys and statues, based on my experience girls tend to find my hobby surprisingly endearing when they find out that I’m into it. Probably because of the child like exuberance I show when I talk about it. For girls, I find them more attractive once I find out they’re into the same thing.”
Photo by Regine Viñas
At this point, I asked a fan favorite cosplayer, Frederick Viñas, to share his insights on bringing out the best of being a geek. Here are the tips he dished out:

1. How can a geek get a totally attractive life partner?

- It's simple... Have confidence. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the term "totally attractive" for me applies both inside and out. Being "attractive" doesn't simply mean you must look good, but you must also have the right attitude and personality which is key. That said, I understand that geeks have been stereotyped for quite a long time, but thanks to modern pop-culture, times have changed and being a geek nowadays is the quintessential "cool" of this day and age. 

"What matters is you get along with the stuff that you love."

With that, it's easy to find it in you to let people see your strengths. May it be knowledge of fandoms, talents in expressing yourself through art like drawing or cosplay, or simply having a good conversation about a topic which your prospect likes too. If you have all that, then it's easy finding the right one for you. It doesn't matter if he or she is physically attractive (that's just a bonus), what matters is you get along with the stuff that you love... And a person who you can easily get along with is "totally attractive" in my eyes. ;)

Photo by Joel Aragones

 Just look at Daphne (my girlfriend), for me she's the complete package. Very pretty and we get along quite well with the stuff that we like. And it wouldn't be possible if I wasn't patient in finding the right person for me. If I could do it, so could you!

2. How can a geeky guy not weird out his person of desire?

- For me, being weird is what makes each of us unique. Without it, this would be a dull world don't you think? :) The only thing that we should try to avoid is creeping out the person we like. 

"Always stay true to being a gentleman."

As I mentioned before, confidence is key. We shouldn't act like stalkers or extremist fanatics to the person we like, since that kind of behavior are often only appreciated by narcissists, and those are typically bad choices for life partners. 

Be confident with yourself, be weird, be unique! But of course you need to consider personal boundaries. I myself am faithful to my individuality, but always stay true to being a gentleman since we must always respect personal boundaries. If the person you like appreciates that, then chances are that that's the right person for you.

3. Can you give style tips on how should a geek dress appropriately without compromising his individuality?

- I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask for fashion tips, but in my experience, avoiding trends without being too much of a hipster actually works! And remember to always dress for the occasion. I often look the same way with shirts having designs of my favorite video game, anime, TV series, or whatever fandom on normal days. At work I do my best to look professional by wearing polo, slacks, and leather shoes. For big occasions like weddings or corporate functions, I go all out with my suit-and-tie. 

"Always dress for the occasion."

Remember to always be yourself, look clean, and be confident. As long as you can carry what you're wearing, you can actually wear anything. But let's focus on normal days since that's more common; Most of the time, when you wear a shirt that represents your fandom, it's a possible point of dialogue with a prospect that's into your fandom as well, so don't fear wearing that favorite shirt of yours which has a Resident Evil or Game of Thrones design, since who knows who you bump into next that loves the same things that you do? ;)

4. How should a geek talk with his prospect?

- As a guy, we should always be a gentleman. Be respectful and polite not just in actions, but in words as well. If we're to show our prospect that we're well-groomed and well-raised men, we must express it also through the way we talk also. It saddens me that chivalry is lost nowadays when it comes to how some men treat women in social media. An example of this is when fanboys have the tendency to fawn over their cosplayer crushes by using sexual innuendos or sometimes outright harassment. 

"It saddens me that chivalry is lost nowadays when it comes to how some men treat women in social media."

If we don't know how to treat women with respect, then how would you expect women to respect you as well? Since sounding like a creep actually shows that you yourself have no self-respect actually. If we talk and act like a gentleman, then we show that we respect ourselves and that in-turn can possibly gain the respect of our prospect which could lead to our prospect actually liking us. ;)

5. Is it possible to be geeky and hot? How?

- Hahaha that's a tough one... Being "hot" is a very vague term for me, but in the context of being "attractive", I can say that being a geek and at the same time being a reliable person in life is what could count as "hot" to our prospects. I'm a geek since childhood, the things I loved back in the day are still the stuff I love until now. I never grew-out of watching cartoons / anime, reading comic books / novels, and collecting toys, but I was raised by my parents to be a man who my family could rely on. 

"Reliability is a sign of independence which is a huge plus for our prospects."

I grew up having my dad teach me the ropes in how to run a house, how to maintain it, and how to fix whatever's broken... Being a handyman for short. Reliability is a sign of independence which is a huge plus for our prospects. Other than being reliable, we must also be a geek who can defend ourselves and those who can't defend themselves. Violence is never the key, but learning to protect our loved ones is definitely a must in these dark times. Other than being able to avert tragedies, there is also the benefit of having a healthier lifestyle because of the training involved, and that I think is a very good deal.

Photo by Regine Viñas

Thanks, Fred! So there you go. These may not the be-all, end-all answers that could help geeky guys get the girl of their dreams, mind you. I am not saying you put on a false face because both of you would suffer if you end up not being who you are. But there’s a game that separates Bruce Waynes from the Peter Parkers. Nothing would happen if you don’t make yourself better. Maybe it's time for a reboot on your personality and appearance-an updated look and upgraded skills might change the direction of your love story.